A first counselling session is a gentle introduction — not an interview, not an exam, not a deep dive into your worst memories. It is a chance for you and your counsellor to meet, talk about what brings you, and see whether it feels right to work together. You stay in control of what you share, and at what pace.
Below is what I, as a BACP-registered counsellor, actually do in a first session — and a few honest tips for getting the most out of it.
What we'll talk about
I usually start by asking what has brought you to counselling — in your own words. There is no right way to answer. Some people have a clear story; others just have a feeling that something needs to change. Both are fine.
I'll also ask some practical questions to help me understand your situation — things like what you have already tried, whether you have had counselling before, and what you hope might feel different. We will also talk about confidentiality, how sessions work, and any questions you have.
That is genuinely the whole agenda. You do not need to come with a list, a 'story', or a plan.
How long the session is
Counselling sessions are 50 minutes. The first session is the same length. With Metanoia Counselling, sessions are delivered online by video.
Before your first session, you can also book a free 20-minute consultation. That is shorter, lower-pressure, and a good way to see how it feels to talk to me before deciding whether to start.
What to do beforehand
There is no real preparation needed. A few things help:
- •Find a quiet, private space where you won't be interrupted
- •Test your video and audio a few minutes before — most platforms work in any browser
- •Have a drink nearby and tissues to hand, just in case
- •Give yourself 15 minutes afterwards before jumping back into work or family life — what comes up in sessions can need a moment to settle
What if I get upset?
It is completely fine to cry, to pause, to take a moment. That is part of what therapy is for. You will not be pushed beyond what you are ready to talk about.
What if I don't know what to say?
Also completely normal. Many people start with 'I'm not sure where to begin' — and that is a perfectly good place to begin. We will find the words together.
How do I know if my counsellor is the right fit?
The most important factor in whether therapy works is the relationship between you and your counsellor. Not their training, not their methods — the relationship. So trust your sense of it.
After a first session, ask yourself: did I feel listened to? Did I feel safe? Did I feel like I could be honest? If yes, that is a strong sign. If not — that is also useful information. It is okay to try a different therapist.
What happens after the first session
If we both feel it is a good fit, we will book your next session and start the work properly. There is no minimum number you have to commit to. We will review together how it is going and adjust as we go.
If it does not feel right, that is also fine. Therapy is not one-size-fits-all and trying a different counsellor is part of normal process, not failure.
Common questions
How much does a first counselling session cost?
With Metanoia Counselling, sessions are £40 per hour. I also offer a free 20-minute consultation before the first session if you would like to talk briefly before committing.
Do I have to share everything in the first session?
No. You share what you are ready to share. Counselling is paced to feel safe — there is no expectation to disclose anything before you feel comfortable.
How do I prepare for online counselling?
Find a quiet, private space, test your video and audio in advance, and give yourself a few minutes either side. There's no other preparation needed — you don't need to bring notes or a 'story'.
What if I cry?
That is completely fine and part of what counselling is for. You will not be rushed, judged, or pushed beyond what you can manage.